We deserve Happiness..

I believe that everyone deserves the happiness that all the world can contain. This world is really large, so it can definitely contain all the happiness that we all need to fill everyday of our lives. However, it amazes me how little people believe that of themselves today. It seems a strange statement but we see it all around us today..

We postpone our happiness, we overwork today to enjoy tomorrow, postpone that holiday, scrimp and save up for that wedding, forfeit precious time for earthly treasures. Please do not get me wrong; I am not in any way implying that work is bad, or that we should spend like there is no tomorrow. I totally believe in having a wholesome work attitude as well as saving for a comfortable retirement and a financially secured future. (I have a whole career to prove it *chuckle *)

However, I am proposing in this post, (that is all is it- a proposal, you are not required to agree with it, but however urged to consider it) that most of us don’t really believe that we deserve to be truly happy. I’m not saying we don’t want to be, fact is we want to be, we have spent the last few millenniums searching for the ‘secret to happiness’- We just don’t really believe that we deserve to be happy.

We have been bombarded by family, culture, society from childhood to adolescence and then adulthood to believe that suffering is noble, and happiness is something vague that belongs the mediocre. It has been subtle, we may talk like we know that happiness is truly important, but we always live what we believe. And along with the children that we’re supposed to teach and the young people we’ve been tasked to nurture, I look around to find a society where a overworked lifestyle is secretly admired, rest is looked upon with a little guilt, where you have to ‘earned’ your right to having a good time and busyness is only inches away from being crowned.

May I suggest that you consider the world- the wonder of creation, the beauty of individuality, and the exhilarating thrill of living life; from the moment you entered this world, you have a right- Happiness. You don’t have to earn it, you deserve i

Sterotypes

We live in a world of stereotypes. Be it because of our differences or varying experiences, we sometimes tint our glasses with a shade of color that would make looking at the world more bearable (that sounds way too cynical) I mean comfortable. And as long as it doesn’t hurt any one, stereotypes I believe are justifiable and harmless.

I have a theory that I’ve come up with in watching the demographics patterned world around me in the last decade or so - The damsel looking, pitiable and sweet girls, the kind that look like they need some kind of rescuing appeal more to guys. They are the ones who’ll be snapped up first. Recently, I’ve come to believe that that theory may not be completely true. I figured, I owe it to all the men who have been ‘falsely’ accused by me to be ego-pricks and shallow minded in the past and myself, to at least adjust it.

Here is how it started, I was watching a Korean Drama series with one of my longest friend one night when I found out that the lead actor of that is the biggest name in Korea now. The thing is, I cannot figure out why?

He doesn’t look that handsome, in fact his rival looks manlier any time. In fact, he is ordinary looking- small sized, a little short and really fair. That description pretty much differs from our typical “ tall, dark and handsome” hunk ideal. But with a sparkle in his boyish slit eyes, and adorable sunshine dimpled smile, he is the biggest name in Korean pop scene today.

This is an interesting observation, why is he so popular? I would think that girls usually go for someone macho looking, someone who look like they can take care of them. I think however that the reverse is true, deep down in every person’s heart, there is a desire- they want to be needed. The pitiable look appeals because then it will seem like “I need to protect her or He needs my love”. It is as true for men as much as it is for the ladies. It is true not only for the opposite sex, but also for people of the same sex although outward appearance would most definitely apply more for the case of the former.

My previous theory included only the men, but come to think about it, this thing unisex. It is a human thing, it does not only isolate the male species. I suppose this can make all the men who feel that they have been unfairly accused feel better? I’m not sure, but have certainly done my best to correct my sterotype.

it is v simple..

I started faithblog with my friend, she among many others who feels that this might be an interesting and engaging activity. While I named it something else, she decided that hers would be called 'it is v simple..'. I didn't express my views then but the thought that was swimming through my mind is that- "This is Complicated!"

The paradox of it is that I find that blog title to be really of depth. The first evidence of this in her phrase is the ".." she leaves behind. If "IT" were really as simple as seems, then why doesn't she leave out the ".." to display clarity of thought, or finish the phrase with a "." to exhibit a conclusive statement? It is her ".." that made me pause to think of the implications behind this phrase whether she warranted it a not.

If the simplicity can be easily obtained, does it than mean that the matter is merely elementary? The next question to ask would most naturally be, what is the 'it'? Most people would naturally assumed that she is here referring to life, the living of life, the matters concerning life, issues surrounding living.

So in linking one to the other, is it possible then that all that I mentioned above, the possible 'IT's are merely elementary or single principled, (if I may use the word) 'activities'? While I do not deny that there may be '7 steps to Getting it right in Life' or 'The 21 essentials of Fruitful Living' but can Life really be that simple? Is it really a bunch of formulae and principles? If you get the keys, then you can walk through the door of life engraved "Arrived" or "Success"? That I have to say really simplify things by a whole lot, all we have to do is to look for the Biography of a Person whom you consider 'got IT together' identify the contributing factors of this person's successful living and replicate your life following this principles, mathematics is timeless.

I have a another friend who, whenever I respond with a compliment or a positive remark when asked my opinion on various matters, would sit there with a straight face tapping his fingers. I would ask "What?", and he would say, "I'm waiting", which would be followed by my reply " what do you mean?". He would say "I am waiting for your 3 lettered BUT".. I can't possibly disappoint him in event he does read this post, can I....? IT can be very simple, BUT I have to ask, Is IT?

I have to suggest a really postmodern opinion - IT is really subjective. It is. I believe that in this instance, this perspective has to outlive culture, times and age because we are discussing about IT. (really a modernist view) Regardless of what you think, Life is intended to be unique, dynamic, and much too volatile to be put in a box, way too huge to be summarized into a sentence. IT comprises of a journey, the process of reaching there too is part of IT too contrary to popular belief.

Many times, we exclaim "This is Life!" at spas, breathtaking scenic spots on a hot getaway, in the arms of love ones, after exhilarating shopping sprees, with cheese, wine overlooking a beautiful sunset and even in hospitals when you hold a new born in your hands. Please do not misunderstand me, I do not deny, "They are Life" BUT to imagine that we think that is all there is to Life, if the objective of each Life is to "reach there", "succeed" to "finish" then what huge other parts we are ignoring.

To share the grief with a deceased family, to learn what is right by making mistakes, to gain by losing, to be hurt, to feel pain and even death which leads you on to eternity, they are all Life in itself. Life is all encompassing, even the most distasteful flavor of regret, and it leads to this next story about myself before I conclude the post.

I have some friends who believe that I suffer from "other people's food is better than mine" syndrome. What happens to me at meal time, is that I'll take an incredibly long time to decide my pick on the menu; and when the food is served, I will most definitely always be regretful about my order and feel that their food is a better choice. I will then invariably ignore my own order and pinch on theirs more than occasionally for the rest of the meal. I have attempted to decipher my own psychology in this matter more than once; I have attempted to preempt this behavior by ordering the alternate choice. Regardless of what I do, unless everyone on the table eats the same food, there will often be a bitter taste of regret at such instances.

What does this story have to do with what I'm discussing? Lets start by looking at what is the point in discussing this after establishing that IT is subjective in the first place? In displaying various brief moments of my inner thought life, I discovered I am missing something, aren't I? and just about now, another rude awakening realization knocked again, I really don't know about IT, do I?". My answer is, No, I don't. Together with the 6 billion other human beings out there, I unashamedly publish that I don't know about Life. It is too magnificent to be comprehended. If that is the case, then isn’t it coincidentally way to straight forward? Maybe my more discerning friend already had a sense of this – that’s why she titled "IT is v simple.."

Back to the earlier story, as I am typing this, the familiar bitter distaste of regret is already beginning to linger as I gaze enviously across the table at my friend’s platter only to look at my own choice with disdain. Is this a mere phenomenon of my unexplainable idiosyncrasy? I cannot conclude.

the beginning

Everything has a begining.. I suppose I can consider this to be an feeble attempt to experience my alternate childhood dream of being a columnist.
I realised that everyone would at least in their first entry try to give a reason for starting a blog. It is a way to validate their site, persuade themselves that the time and effort in establishing this facility is worth the while if not rewarding.
I have done the same with my first post.
All i hope from this would be that certain buried expressions and reflections would be 'published' and remembered by at least and most importantly- Me.